Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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