Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
