We won't sleep together?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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