I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
