if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
