DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
