The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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