I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm both gender and math confused
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
