okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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