Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
