Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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