she smelled like a LAN party
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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