how can u be prego again
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
