me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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