the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
