I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
