I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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