Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
...so i touched it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
