Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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