whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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