I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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