The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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