So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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