it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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