May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
