Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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