he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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