saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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