I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
