I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
