Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
