Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
