I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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