My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
