While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Every concussion has its silver lining
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
