Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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