im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I want her autograph on my taint
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
