Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
