I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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