Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
