Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
