I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
