dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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