Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
