On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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