She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
