he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
