I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
