we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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