wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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